Feedback given week 2

Review of Marco Meloni
First of all I really like the way you made the parallel between neighborhood problems of broken windows to a variety of different bigger scale problems, from river pollution to the ozone layer depletion. Of course as you also stated there are some key differences that complicate applying similar mechanisms on more complex concepts.
This part “One could think of many reasons why this correlation occurs, for example that people who break windows tend to live in the same places whereas window preservers live in other places” could be better formulated as currently it sounds a bit funny, like there are groups of people that is continuously occupying themselves with breaker or preserving windows like a profession. Of course I do get the point as you mean that it has to do with social class etc.
I personally would have preferred to first have a very short summary of the theory of Kelling and Wilson without practice as now the theory is explained by using an example immediately. Also in the last section your reasoning is correct, but rather brief as it is supposed to be the climax or learning point and I have the feeling that it is a bit rushed. More elaboration would be welcome here explaining the differences separately instead of mixing them all in one sentence.
When coming to the second part of the assignment on making profit it is bound to lead to some interesting discussions. However I found it difficult to judge as it is all rather personal and subjective. I personally find it a bit too easy to put the responsibility in governments’ hands as in my opinion we all have responsibilities and should co-create laws etc. on the subject. So not just top down measures, but also bottom up. Besides due to the global nature of many businesses, western companies relocate their production facilities to low wage countries, due to the wages, but also due to limited regulations. Basically those companies measure with two different standards in my view and they can’t place responsibility at local governments. But then again, this is all rather personal and subjective on which there is no wrong or right.
Overall I would say it is a very interesting first blogpost that with some tweaking here and there could be even better.

Review of Laurens Boelens 

First of all it is all very enthusiastically written so that is nice and gets you involved easily, however this also leads to many unnecessary type-o’s such as i (I), continues use (continued use), explination (explanation), etc., it would be nice to get them all out.

The last section on your bachelor thesis is rather technical and I miss the necessary background to understand the first part, I do however the overall picture that GMO could save lives on the short term whereas conventional methods would mean decades or work for something that might in the end not even lead to the desired outcome. However this explains your personal connection, but does not relate to food as it is more in line with penicillin, etc. to which people do not object as you have stated earlier on.

Currently the blog is slightly unbalanced as it focusses a lot on the mechanisms, which is explains very nicely, but does little justice to why GMO’s should be embraced as there is only one sentence that says we rely heavily on it. Here you could elaborate a bit more I would say in terms of yield increase, population growth, climate change, etc.

Overall nice work, very passionately penned down, which for sure, also due to the topic, will lead to interesting internal discussions in the readers mind. Your style makes sure to keep this discussion going.

You did the blog already last year, but the assignment is a bit different this year. For this one I miss the part on your position relating the statement “the business of business is to create profit”.